You ever feel like you can’t distinguish between what is real, and what you just imagined in your head?
“Did that just happen? Or was it all a dream?”
“I hope that was a dream, b/c I can’t believe it just happened.”
My life seems so surreal.
The other day I walked outside, and in my right ear I heard all these noises. It kinda felt like when superman tunes in his super-hearing, and he can hear things very far away.
Later, I realized I had a ringing in my left ear… and I think I just couldn’t hear well out of my left ear- in fact, there was music on in a room on my left side, but I heard only in my right ear!
Of course, this only adds to the surrealness- once I realize- “Wait, I am living in a foreign country.” I forget that so often. But I am living in a place where they speak a different language, and no one looks like me. I haven’t seen many of my friends in over a year. I am somewhat living like a spy.
There have been people in my life who I considered best friends, who I haven’t talked to now in years- yet I still have great memories. I have friends from work that I was good friends with- who I can’t even remember their names.
Friends have come and gone in my life, that tv characters may be the most consistent thing I have going for me.
And my imagination and my dreams are vivid. Did I have that conversation? Did I send that email?
<Post pictures of my wall of pictures…>
This life I live, the call I have followed, the place I am, the dreams I have- I don’t know what is real anymore… or what I want to be real anymore…