The thing about being single

January 28 is a good day- happy birthday shout outs to Jim Kelly, Allison Rose, and Sara Lisy. What i like about all of their birthdays is they are older than me.
i also talked to my bud Scott Luczywo yesterday. He was supposed to be my partner in crime as a single guy, but he got married and just had a kid.
He said he was jealous that i had a sense of direction with a 3 year plan for ICS, but he has the family…

Being overseas long-term though, means my best shot at a relationship could come in 2 weeks. Hey, i got a date last year at mid-year, too bad it didn’t end quite the way i would have planned. But one of my room mates is still dating someone he met last year.
Fertig says dating someone at mid-year could be my thing. i don’t really want that to be my thing, because i would like to have to stop looking for a date.
This year will be different from last year. Last year i knew Karie and had been in communication with her- this year will just be cold turkey. We’ll see how it goes.

Sometimes i get annoyed when people talk to me about girls- i think it is when people are really serious about it. In particular my mom. But often, i find the topic quite entertaining. It is interesting to hear who people think match up well with me.

And i enjoy talking with God about this subject too. Sometimes i think about old girlfriends, or even girls who turned me down… and i really can’t imagine what my life would have been like if i had gotten married.

i really kinda like my life. If i was married, i don’t think i would have has the same type of influence on students that i had. Or all those summer project roommates, all the deep conversations, all the fun memories. And who knows if i would be here right now.
Though i may desire to be married sometimes, i couldn’t imagine my life any different.

And really, there are points when i’m glad i’m single. And i have been content being single.
After all, as they say in Hitch:
           You’re not sick, you’re single

Yes, i desire a wife and kids, but is that the end all of life?

But then don’t go on and say something about the gift of singleness. No one wants this gift. If singleness is a gift, i’d like to exchange it for something else. Or perhaps i would try to regift it, or give it away as a white elephant gift.

i don’t see singleness mentioned in the chapters that talk about spiritual gifts. Please do not patronize me.

Here’s what i see. Both being single or being married are good things. It is part of God’s plan. As a single person, i see it as part of God’s plan. He has used my singleness for His glory. And if/when i get married, i believe He will use that in my life, in my wife’s life and in the lives of others as well.

There are benefits to being single. There are benefits to being married. i don’t look at either as being bad. Sometimes we may desire one or the other, but we can trust where God has us, is where we need to be. We can wait on Him, and rejoice in the circumstances that surround us.

STINT the last 2 years has kinda scared me about getting married, but i hope to get married still.
Yet if i am single for the rest of my life, that’s ok too.


7 thoughts on “The thing about being single

  1. I think Christians often plan on being single…like it was a definite in God’s plan for your life.  A friend once told me the two questions we are all asking are “where am I going, and who is coming with me?” and often we confuse those two questions in the order they should be. 
    It does seem like the end all be all for Christians…right out of college…oh no I need to get married and quick!  All the girls from summer project will forget about me soon!  And marriage becomes an expectation in life.  Even though I am a young buck of 22, I’m trying to think about living a single life–that hey, it is possible a girl will not find her way to me and I might be doing something else when I’m 54 that doesn’t include paying off my kids college or whatever. 
    Hope your break goes well. 

  2. “But then don’t go on and say something about the gift of singleness. No one wants this gift. If singleness is a gift, i’d like to exchange it for something else. Or perhaps i would try to regift it, or give it away as a white elephant gift.” Mookie, I LOVE this quote! I don’t have any favorite quotes on my Facebook, because I have sooooooo so many favorite quotes. But if I did have favorite quotes on my Facebook, I would have to ask for your permission to use this one. I’m totally serious.One day your Princess will come, Mookie. Just make sure you catch her, dear.

  3. Zach speaks truth.One year as staff at Michigan we were talking about students. One guy who had just graduated and was helping out some said something to the effect of “They don’t need to worry, it’s not like they are my age.” He was only like 23.but he certainly began to worry. He began spending a lot of time with a non-Christian girl and got more and more romantically involved- it destroyed his walk with God. He didn’t marry her, but he did get married to a non-Christian a year later.Why do we need to get married right out of college, most people don’t.One of my friends at UofM pointed out the real reason: THEY WANT TO HAVE SEX.This is why Christians are so eager to get married soon after college, or after dating someone for 2 months, and have such short engagements.Non-Christians are having sex. If they’ve gone on 4 dates (at least according to seinfeld) they have likely had sex already.i don’t know, that may be a poor reason to get married.And yeah, life doesn’t end after college. Quite frankly, the problem of finding a date or a gf was never b/c of a shortage of girls, it was more b/c there were so many decent options…

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