MY own effort

i find i am always trying to make things right.
i want to do the right thing to get the perfect outcome.

Like in friendships, i am trying to say the right thing, or make the right gesture, or create the best environment.
i probably do this even more in planning, leading and ministry.

And whenever i try to make things better, or make things right- it never quite works out the way i want

My own effort will always leave me wanting more, will always come up short of my desire.

A few years ago i was examining the idea of abiding in Christ. And the question i kept on asking is “What do i ahve to do to abide in Christ?”
Abiding is so abstract, i didn’t like it.
but, that is what it came down to- faith.

And now, i think i fall into the trap more and more. As a leader, as a team member, as a friend, in ministry and realationships- i really rely on my effort. If i work hard enough, or come up with the right plan, or research enough, or study enough- then things will go well.

i want to pray more. i need to trust God more. i need to understand i won’t understand it all.

(This movie was good, but it could just further ingrains the idea of hard work, persistance will get you all you want…)


3 thoughts on “MY own effort

  1. i thought the movie was ok, not really as amazing as i thought it could’ve been. the incessant narration killed part of it. the whole “i call this part of my life ____ ” should’ve been edited out.

  2. random comment to go along with a deep and serious post…
    That Harold and Kumar movie was on tv last night so I got to watch the first half before bed.  It was funny, although not at all what I thought it would be about.  I just remember you and Costa talking about it a while back.

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