Commitment

i have been thinking about this idea of commitment for a couple weeks now.

See, it has been said that stint is good preparation for marriage- i think it must be… though it doesn’t always make me too excited to get married. i feel like we get all the responsibilites with few benefits. Especially as a CD.

There are certainly times when people feel like going home or giving up on people or themselves while they are here. It gets tough. There is spiritual battle. There is conflict. There are hard decisions to make. There are differences of opinion. And there are nuances and pet-peeves and miscommunication and misunderstandings and disappointments.

We can chug along. We can try to focus on positives. We can grin and bear it. We can try to have fun. We can escape. We can retreat. We can rely on other people elsewhere to help us thru it all.

But the only way we will be able to make it- and make it well- is if we’re committed to one another.

Committment makes a huge difference. When someone is committed to me, i feel more freedom to be me. i have security. When i am committed to someone or something, i put more energy and effort into it. i work thru the hard times.

Our society is not one that values commitment.
– We are afraid to ask for commitments most of the time- what if that student leader walks away? What if we are rejected?
– We are afraid to commit: what if we are betrayed/rejected? What if it is harder than i thought?
– we see this in marriage and dating. Few get married, and even many who do get married end it in divorce
– we see it in Churches. People go to a church for a while, then they don’t like when the Pastor asks for money or they get tired of something or disagree with something- and they leave and go somewhere else that fits their needs.

And maybe this is why we don’t like commitment. We only want to commit to something that makes us happy or feel good. As soon as the commitment requires sacrifice or submission- we walk away.

What does it mean to commit? What would it look like? How would our lives be different? What do we need to commit to?

When i was at UofM i worked at Albion College. My first meeting i told the students i would be committed to Albion as long as i was in Michigan. There were several times i wanted to give up. Several times i wanted to stop making the drive. But that commitment to them kept me going. And i’m glad i did.

i want to be a committed person.

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4 thoughts on “Commitment

  1. we’re all just independent, and lazy, americans. we value our personal freedoms so much that we start to view commitment and the acceptance of responsibilities as something that limits those freedoms. and consequently we rebel, we get divorced, we fail to commit at all. and our society, our culture, and our faith are crumbling around us as we stand strong to defend the fact that we are strong individuals.

  2. I agree. When I was on Stint we always said that it was an arranged marriage with none of the benefits. A team that is a family provides so much more freedom to fail (and then grow) than a team that is just a bunch of people that work together.

  3. I have heard.. from my teammates that have gotten married.. that it was great prep.. 🙂 We always used to joke that it was like being married to 8 other people..
    And yes, I think commitment phobia is a part of our generation. We have two choices. Be defined by it and go along. Or deliberately make some decisions to strive past our generational culture. I do both sometimes. Joining staff was a deliberate decision to fight my generations’ culture of non-commitment actually. Very deliberate.

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