The safe guy

The other day I was wearing a cheesy hat that has the
characters for the word safe… and Christine said something like, oh you’re the
safe guy. I put my face in my hands, and Ben started laughing. Then she said
“No, everyone will know you are safe person to talk with” Augh!

4 years ago at CSU Cindy Tirey told me she trusts you
because you are safe. Oh dagger in my heart! And Mark laughed at me. Then she
said Mark was safe… we walked away and consoled each other…

I asked a question on IM
Is it a compliment or an insult to be called “one of the guys/girls”?
I believe every guy said insult, but only one girl (Kelly
Hebrank from Yale).

What do you think?

 For years Jenny Brusoe said it was a compliment, until she
began to feel like a safe girl… then she understood my plight.

During one of my first regional staff conferences, Nate
ardle came up to me and said
“I see you’ve been hanging out with a lot of girls”
“Yeah, but it’s not good”
“WHAT? How can it not be good?”
“Because I’ve become a safe guy”
“Wha… oh. I know what you mean – NO! That’s not good!”
“Yeah, they hang out with me, they’ll be my friend, but
that’s it. I’m safe”
“Yeah, I had a friend like that in college, it took him
forever to find a girl…”

I came back and was telling my roommate – Dennis Leskowski
and the guest who never left Bob burbach the story
Me: “Yeah, I’ve become the safe guy- the  good friend, the ethnic minority they’d never
date..”
Dennis: “You’re the gay guy!”
Me: No, I like to think of it more as the neighbor next door
Dennis: “I like the gay guy!”

No guy wants to be the safe guy- and if they do, they’re
nuts.

Girls say they want to date their best friend – THEY’RE ALL
LYING!

 Char Barwin and I were discussing this at CSU, the people we
wind up dating are the ones we consider mysterious.

Safe – never. Dangerous- may flirt with, but won’t go home
with. Mysterious- have to figure him/her out.

 This is why it is best to keep your distance from girls. In
college apparently a number of girls liked me. Then I decided I would try to
build some friendships, and now no one will ever want to date me…

 As Ben Buehler said ten years ago: “Nice guys get the shaft.”
We were going to make t-shirts…

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7 thoughts on “The safe guy

  1. ooooh, sorry man.  there’s no way that I would ever want to be known as the safe guy, and no way that I have ever come close to that.  I would seriously rather be known as the a-hole than the safe guy, and I would bet that more people have looke at me as an a-hole instead of as a safe guy since approximately zero people have ever thought of me as such.  A group of girls may look at the a-hole, and say how much of a jerk he is, but only one girl would really dislike him.  The rest of them would be going along with it even though they don’t know why they don’t like him, but then the a-hole starts being interested in one of them, and she starts thinking of a relationship with him as a wild adventure with a man who has no fear.  That would be a very sexy option for me if I wasn’t a believer.
    You ready for some July madness?

  2. so i’m done defending myself and my comment. after this: you were wearing a SAFETY HAT! what did you expect?? and you KNOW what i meant when i said what i said. out of context. welcome to the story of the year. 🙂

  3. as the perpetually “safe” girl, i can sympathize… however, as a girl, i can honestly say that we DO want to marry our best friend- in the sense that wouldn’t it be great to already know someone and have a shared experience with and mutual respect for them and not have to fumble through the whole awkward meeting and initial getting-to-know-you process that is inherent in the dating game… but come to realize (slowly or not-so-slowly even) that you just really value and respect and love and want to love that person more than another? theres a kind of simplicity and purity in that sort of evolution of a relationship that is lacking in the “normal” dating phenomenon… obviously, relationships will happen as they will, but i think a lot of girls probably feel this way to some degree…

  4. this is why i have the love for chandler and sawyer and snape [harry potter nerd alert], i like to identify myself with the slightly dangerous people. being safe is for single guys [oh wait, i’m still single. bollocks…]

  5. Yeah, I love meeting nice guys and talking with them about my baaaaaad boyfriends. I mean baaaaaad. I dunno, I love it. I also buy food I don’t like and clothes that make me look fat. It’s a curse really.

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