the one for Adam Anderson/ On the evil of guarding your heart

i kinda wish i would have gone to CSU for 3 days, but there were only a handful of people there who i probably won’t get to see here… one is Adam Anderson – and this post is for you… it actually was spawned off from “the date” post a while back… my thoughts are often disagreed with or misunderstood, i’m sure this one may too, but read on…


so, go back to CSU in 05….


I wasn’t a big fan of Henry Cloud, then he spoke at CSU for all the singles. I was in the back with Adam Anderson. He was about to walk out for a second, when someone asked a question about “guarding your heart.”  I yelled to Adam to come back. We had had  several conversations about this topic, we knew where we stood… and when Cloud said “What? What does that mean?” And went on to debunk it. Adam pumped his fist in the air and screamed loudly YES!


If you want an even stronger opinion you can talk with him. But here’s the deal…




When the Bible talks about guarding your heart- it’s not about guarding yourself from hurt or guarding yourself in relationships. It’s guarding your heart from sin. It’s being careful what you let in and what you give your heart to, so you don’t sin.


We are called to love. Loving others means giving your heart, not guarding your heart. If you give your heart to a person it will be broken. Even the best of friendships, the best marriages- will have hard moments and disappointments sometime.


Back in college, I was spending a lot of time with this girl, we talked a lot. Then I told her I liked her, we started dating and she clammed up. She wanted to guard her heart. Ironically, if we hadn’t started dating she would have shared so much more with me. But she had to guard her heart… and it led to relationship problems…


If you’re going to get to know people, if you’re going to go deeper, if you’re going to care for one another, you can’t guard your heart


I know some people won’t pray with the opposite sex- fine- but I think you miss out on a lot.


If we want to experience love, we must understand it may require a broken heart. I know that sucks, it hurts, but it may just be the price. God is near to the broken-hearted…



8 thoughts on “the one for Adam Anderson/ On the evil of guarding your heart

  1. i tend to agree more and more with this train of thought about “guarding the heart”. there is a great thought by cs lewis that is really applicable to your post:“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

  2. aww dang it. well i am holding out. we are the few the select.
     the boring people in a rut who refuse to cave.
    i feel like we have a lil community. i can’t leave it! 🙂

  3. and I just read your post..
    big resounding YESSSSSSSS!!! Complete with fist pumps in the air. Although. I would probably jump up and down instead as the fist pumping is a big guy-ish.
    I could not agree more and I have been ranting about this one for many years myself.

  4. HA!  I think I heard Adam on this one at least twice during WWSP05. The incorrect way of guarding your heart you speak of tend to make us already weak and weakening men even less daring.  Emotional pain is not sin and is not unhealthy (well, at the right levels, anyway).  I got my butt kicked that summer by not “guarding my heart,” and I am better off for it.  Feeling that pain was a great primerto be a bit more daring in the relationship world, realizing days and weeks afterward that my life was not over after rejection.  Playing is safe sucks.  Good post, its nice feeling mildly connected to you even though we have not seen each other for two years, and pretending we were best friends that summer, too 

  5. Just another thing – ‘heart’ in Jewish culture wasn’t the seat of the emotions. It’s kinda like saying ‘guard your soul’ or ‘guard your life.’

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