the gas we pass

I own the book “everbody poops”, but there is another book
called “the gas we pass” I’d also like to get.

You may not hear me pass gas too often.

Part of it is a politeness thing. Around guys, I may do it,
around girls I will not. Maybe it’s embarrassing, more so, I think it shows
respect. I don’t care if girls do around me, but I will try not to.

But I guess there are a couple other reasons

  1. I
    don’t burp because I am embarrassed by my weak belches. I can’t let out a
    loud boisterous one…

I mean, there are girls who can
belch louder than i

So, who knew that my lack of belching and belching power
would be a significant reason why my first relationship didn’t work out. I
guess she was a superbelcher. And she didn’t like that I never burped around
her…

 

When it comes to farting – well, especially here I may add,
I’m afraid. I’m afraid I may not fart… but poop.

The old story goes, my friend Ryan was having a farting
contest with a buddy on the way back from Church at Purdue, when all of a
sudden he stopped playing and got real anxious to get home… yes, he pooped his
pants. (Even though Jeff Scholten still hold that one cannot poop his/her pants
unless he has diareha… it is physically impossible!…prove us wrong!)

I guess there has to be something spiritual to take away
from this… Jesus was human, He had gas… Can you imagine Jesus sitting around
with His disciples burping and farting and laughing about it?

My friend Marc Christie once said “I know girls fart, but I
don’t think girls sit around and fart and laugh about it”

But we know guys do… so I am imagining Jesus and His
disciples farting around each other – they had to!

When I write my book “Jesus pooped” I think I will include a
chapter on this: Jesus farted with his buddies & they laughed and had a
good time with one another…

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4 thoughts on “the gas we pass

  1. I had this debate with someone a few years ago and he kept telling me Jesus’ farts had to smell good, while I said they stunk.  Oh, and in case you weren’t aware, the word for farting with a “prize” is “shart,” and I bet you can figure out the hybrid word.  As in, “dude, I just sharted!  Wheres the restroom?”
    We made a spanish translation for that when I was in spanish school in guatemala this summer.   The word: “cagorrear.”

  2. I would so buy your book, Mookie. Please do write it some day. If you would allow, I would also love to be a contributor. If Jesus really was 100% man as well as God, then it has some very earthy implications.
    As for the pooping your pants thing…well, a few guys and I…or, uh, just them…tried that in some adult diapers a few years ago and couldn’t do it. That doesn’t prove anything, but makes me wonder. Psychological thing? I mean, if we do as babies and youngins you’d think it is still possible…hmm….

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