On being liked

i posed this question the other with surprisingly unanimous response (well of those who would give an answer)

Would you rather marry(first said date) someone who had all the character attributes you desire, but you didn’t find that attractive or someone you found attractive but was lacking a character trait or two(and not a major trait like being non-Christian)?

Going with that- if you were going to be turned down or dumped- which reason would you rather hear- because you weren’t physically attractive enough or something about your character?

i tried asking this next question, but i didn’t get it quite out. What is the person was attractive and had every character trait you desired, but didn’t seem to really like you? What if the person liked you, had the character, but wasn’t attractive? Was attractive and liked you, but lacked character?

i do like talking about these topics- because i like talking about how we interact, not just guy-girl stuff. But also i think this tells us a little bit about ourselves by how we answer.

We all said attraction was important. i was kind of surprised people would admit that was more important than character… and then that the person like you even more important (though it wasn’t fully discussed).

i was surprised, because aren’t we taught charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting?

i guess this goes with the last post, because if there is not indication the girl likes me, i’m not as attracted to her. i want to be a man and love like Christ does, but i don’t know if that means i have to be Hosea…

more posts coming…


2 thoughts on “On being liked

  1. Ok, I kind of got overwhelmed with all of the questions, so I’ll just answer what I feel like answering.Is attracion important to me? Yes, but I think character is more important. Examples… there have been guys that I had MAJOR crushes on that the first time I met them, I probably would not have given them a second glance on the street. But once I hung around them and got to know them more, it was their character that totally attracted me. And then I just thought they were the most handsome guys in the world! And it’s been the same in the opposite cases. There have been guys that I thought were hot, but the moment they opened their mouths, I was like “And now that’s over.” I don’t really think I’d like to hear what made someone not like me. Because I want to hear that they think I’m pretty AND that they like who I am. It’s funny though, I think it’s more my character issues (and I definitely can pinpoint a few!) that repel guys. Because in the past year I have heard guys say they find my attractive, but that’s all. So while I at least know it’s not the physical, it still sucks that who I am is not appealing.

  2. Attraction doesn’t fleet, and I think that that’s the key. While beauty definitely fades, I think that attraction stays the same if you’re really in love with someone. There are a lot of older wivs that I definitely don’t find physically attractive, because they’re… well… old, but if you ask their husbands what they think of their wives physical beauty, I’m sure that most of them would be honest in saying how hot their wives are.

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