The thing about feelings

“I think everything is going to be ok.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Joe… who knows where thoughts come from, they just appear.”

Where do feelings come from?

In particular how we feel about people.

So, i wrote this post a few weeks ago after talking with a friend, and it may be contrdiction to some other blogs i have wrote recently, but maybe not…).

In either romantic relationships or friendships, i think weoften talk about “clicking” with someone. But do feelings make you lovesomeone… or does loving someone generate feelings?

I’m sure there are people we have things in common with. Andthere are qualities we admire and/or enjoy in certain people, but my theory isthe more we love someone, the more we feel for them.

That is the more we give of our self to someone, the more wewill want to give to that person. The more we invest into a person, the more wewill feel. The more we allow our self to feel, the more we will.

Feelings certainly can be manipulated… and i’m not sure ifthat is a bad thing.

We are called to love people. No matter who it is. Love is achoice.

But not only that, i believe when we choose to love, it willbecome easier to love. When we commit ourselves to someone, our love for thatperson will grow. Feelings for another person come after we give ourself to theperson, not before.

How do you feel about that?


5 thoughts on “The thing about feelings

  1. I need some distinctions to be drawn. “my theory isthe more we love someone, the more we feel for them.”What is the difference between love and feeling. Isn’t love an emotion? It is surely more than a feeling, but a feeling nonetheless. See Johnathon Edwards “On Free Will”, for a pretty heavy discussion of this topic.

  2. this is a particularly interesting topic of conversation for me… the only relationship i’ve been in ended because there were “feelings” but there wasn’t “love”… and while i subscribe to the opinion that love is a choice, there is an element of “feeling” involved. but where the two converge and crossover into the other- i don’t know.

  3. i think maybe a helpful extra term to throw in is “affection.”  i agree that love is a choice, and we can act in love for people as an act of the will. and i think when we do, we grow a deeper affection for them.  and if affection is a feeling… i guess it is… i don’t think that can be manipulated.  i think part of the beauty of affection is that when it’s there, it’s this pure joy thing.  but affection is also the thing that makes us want to act in love toward someone. 
    i think it was CS Lewis who said something like 9/10ths of all happiness we experience comes from affection…
    i know i’m not doing well when i don’t feel much affection for people… i think affection is sometimes the reminder to act in love, in a way
    and yes.  empire records is definitely worth the eprops all on its own.  haha i LOVE that quote… especially with the blank look on his face… hahaha…

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