“What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”
That was the question Ben M asked me on the riverboat after
convincing me to come up top.
I said “maybe this” though that wasn’t really crazy. I
couldn’t really come up with anything. I wish i could say something, but have i
ever done anything crazy? No tattoo, never been bungee jumping (reverse bungee
was fun though), nothing out there…
I think i mentioned the time i took a charge from Tim
Peterson, Tight End for the Purdue football team at the time once- that was
crazy, everyone said it was – and it was fun!
Oh, and there were the many collisions at home plate, and other charges i took…
or actually, there was the time i ran after a guy to shake his hand after he
purposely put an elbow in my mouth…
What is the craziest thing i’ve ever done?
playing tag in a crowded room… Or singing loudly in a big
cafeteria- with motions… Or Asking out a girl i barely knew? How about asking
out a girl i was pretty sure would say no? Or contacting a girl i barely knew?
Or asking out the same girl 3 times? Or maybe it was driving from NJ-CO…
Ben said a couple things then said “but i think the craziest
thing i’ve ever done was sell my house and move to “Asia””
Ok, so maybe i have done some crazy things by going to
different countries, i guess in living here now, it may seem crazy… i did leave
behind a lot of friends and a lot of good things, but it doesn’t seem crzy to
me, because God is here with me, and He led me here.
I mean i guess it was crazy that i did Greek ministry for a
year, after all my experience with greek stu’s and how i was initimidated by
them… And it was probably crazy how many times i went to Turkey- especially after how
difficult that first experience was… or that i’m here despite how difficult the
language is for me…
So, maybe crazy things are just normal for me…
But i think right now what i’m in might be the craziest… i’m
in the middle of a 40 day fast.
I never thought i would do something like this.
But 20 days, and i’m still standing. God has taken care of
me for sure. Sometimes it feels like it hasn’t gone at all, but man 20 days?
It’s flown by!
I mean if someone told me i was going to do a 20 day fast, i
would think they were nuts and couldn’t imagine having any energy or strength
or patience left!
It has been difficult at times. At times i wish i would get
sick or something just so i could stop. I want to. I like food. And times i
have been hungry. I have definitely felt weak. And it looks like i’ve lost
weight, even though the scale says i haven’t lost very much.
But it has been good. Most of the time i don’t feel that
hungry or tired. I have energy. God has given it to me. He has sustained me,
and i feel i can keep going. Save, i want to eat.
He has taught me a lot, and i learn through experience, so
this has been SO good for me.
Day 1: It was so easy to just grab food. I noticed this
before the fast, i would be eating and not even realize it. This is how i want
my prayer life to be – to notice i’m praying in the middle of a prayer. That
prayer and my walk with God would be 2nd nature- just do it
naturally without even really thinking about it
Day 2: How much i turn to food or other things instead of
God when i am frustrated – He is to be comfort & help
Day 3: Desire. I want to desire God as much as i desire
food- more even!
There was more- like waiting on God. Waiting on His timing.
Waiting til He says so. I am waiting to eat, i am waiting for something good. i
need to wait for Him
And conviction on how little i pray and read the Bible- even
I’m also not watching tv/movies by myself during the fast-
so i will spend more time with Him- at least ideally.
But i do really miss watching scrubs.
Mainly recently is “Apart from Him i can do nothing”
I love that verse, it is a life verse, but now i feel it,
now i know it. I am so weak i need Him every day. But this is reality all the
time. Physically i am weak and need God to take care of me. But seriously,
apart from Him i can do nothing. I need to depend on God, and pray and let Him
work in me and thru me. It is never by my will-power or effort or strength or
skills that things get accomplished. It’s not by me. It’s all Him!
And i had a great time talking with Lance today – who i talk
with every 10 days…
So, pretty crazy, but then again, God is with me, and God
directed me to do this so… not so crazy after all…