i just spent the weekend with one my best friends Paul. i spent last weekend with another one of my best friends Kevin, and i’m leaving tomorrow to spend 3 days with another best friend brent.
i guess i don’t have one best friend… i have 3… to 8… then a 9th who was my best friend in college, who i’ll see briefly tomorrow… a couple former discs with similar sounding names and the 4 boys in Asia… and then like 10-20 more even… God, truly has blessed me.
The people i consider my closest friends now are mostly because they keep in touch with me best. They pursue me. They initiate with me. They care for me. They want to be my friend.
i think this is what makes a friendship: initiative & pursuit.
There are probably other factors- like sharing a similar sense of humor, or having similar passions.
When i think about finding a wife, i hope she will like my friends – because they are important to me- but also she is like my friends – because i like my friends, and want to like my wife.
It makes me think too, that the biggest factor in choosing a girl really is attraction. That’s one thing my guy friends just don’t do for me.
It may seem bad to say attraction is the #1 thing, but i think it is.
Ultimately, i believe i can choose to be someone’s friend. And if i choose to love someone, no matter what they are like, we can become best friends. Goes back to that pursuit thing…
but the people i enjoy the most will
1. talk about the Lord, talk about His Word, talk about how God/following Christ works in real life
2. will be very open and honest about life- authentic, transparent, vulnerable. Speak about difficulty
3. like to have fun, be goofy
4. ask good questions, listen well, show interest in me
5. laugh a lot
6. have a lot of depth
7. be a late-night person
and have similar passions
1. Jesus- who He is, and how we need Him
2. Faith – believing God for who He is
3. True Community – talking about God with each other, opening up, loving well
4. God’s glory in the nations… ministry
5. Purdue… sports in general
So, what do i look for in a girl
1. Passion for God, enjoys Him
2. heart for the world and willing to go anywhere
4. good listener & question asker
6. open, honest, real, transparent
7. affirming, empowering
8. talks about God, prayer warrior, examines the Word, depth
9. likes me, shows interest in me