My first day at X-track

i’m down in air-conditioned florida.

The first night Ken picked me up at the airport and we came in a few minutes late to the orientation party.
There were a lot of people there, and i felt like i knew most of them. And then, even more people came up to me claiming to have met me before…

i didn’t make it very far past the registration table… actually, i never made it past the registration table, i did move a few feet back towards the door, but i never got further than like 7 feet into the room. Crazy. And fun.
i don’t think i finished any one conversation. i got a lot of hugs, which i like. Though some girls would only give side-hugs, whatever.

I hadn’t seen some of them in 3 years, 2 years or at least a year… it was kinda weird.

Truth be told, it was a little intimidating, and a little bit overwhelming.
So much to catch up on, so many people to talk to.
i think i prefer smaller groups and deeper conversations… or inside jokes…

Really, i feel like my first day at X-track has been indicative of my entire summer since returning to the states.
i get kinda overwhelmed by people. i don’t know what to say really. i don’t know where to start. And though i am glad to see people and want to see people, i also kinda dread going to see people or being with people. i kinda rather be alone, or just communicate thru the internet or something… weird.

i have also found i’m very indecisive. i can’t make a decision about anything.
People ask me what i want to eat, and i can’t think of anything- everything sounds good.
We go shopping, and i want to buy everything… then decide i don’t need any of it and get nothing instead.
And i can’t ever make a decision to do anything and wind up doing nothing or rushing to get something way later.
i wind up going the same places over and over again.

Not only am i indecisive, but i can’t seem to initiate anything. i just wait for someone else to say something to me. i want people to ask me questions or show interest in me. i just kinda sit around or something- or so i feel.

i am indecisive, not initiating, and seeing the importance of intentionality.
Somehow, people still like me.

i’m looking forward to this summer and hoping to become a normal person sooner or later

(oh and i had another blog i wanted to write, but then i figured that is just way too not safe to write about- though this may not be either, oh well. if you want more mookie, send me an email).


2 thoughts on “My first day at X-track

  1. Sounds like a bit of reverse culture shock or something very typical for people returning from overseas. Hopefully you will be ‘normal’ soon but anyway, i’m sure you will enjoy x-track. Always good times. And how could you not, with all those great coaches? I’m so jealous. Well, except for FL heat.
    I love Lost too, and it reminds me I need to finish up on the last few episodes. Yeah for fast internet! Then I can read your post about it.
    And yes, everything here does sounds so good, doesn’t it? I am not normally a buffet person but we did Golden Corral the other day with Scott’s grandparents and I just couldn’t believe all that food. I mean it was better than the 5 star hotel buffets I’ve been raving about.
    Keep posting!

  2. Emily and I have a rule about Target. You have to walk around the store one full loop with an item in your cart before you purchase it. Most of the time, we end up dropping the item off back where we found it. We’ve gone from over $150 of stuff in our cart to under $20 in one loop before. It’s a good way to save money and not buy a bunch of crap you don’t need. Plus, it’s a ton of fun.

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