Several people told me X-track was the best conference they had ever been to.
And many people told me it was so good because there was so much free time.
So, even though i have lived overseas the last 3 years, i was really looking forward to it.
i even knew 20+ people before i got there, including 2 of my best friends!
Still, it was a somewhat difficult summer for me.
Even though the content was basically the content i’ve heard before elongated over 5 weeks- it was still good. Content will never be the problem for me.
It was difficult for me in connecting with others and connecting with God.
Not that the people weren’t great. By the end of the summer especially, i did feel connected to more people. And there are a lot of memories to share (that is part II). And i had late night conversations with Ken every night.
i don’t know, maybe i was disappointed i didn’t meet the love of my life there. i guess that was a hope in the back of my mind.
And i can blame other things – and did- no central meeting place, nothing walking distance to go to, not enough cars, not living right by each other, not having meals together in a cafeteria (i love the cafeteria- it is my playground!), having meetings in the morning-so people went to bed early, nowhere to play sports like ultimate or basketball(we did play each once, but it was difficult)… but that wasn’t the problem
Or i could blame it on the fact that we all lived in comfortable places with internet and tv- so we didn’t go out and connect right away- i will say that was a factor at the beginning…
No, i felt out of sorts. i have pretty much all summer. Asia is my home.
The difficult thing was the size of the group. The largest group i am normally a part of is 20 people now. Though we have out mid-year conference which i love-like 300 people. But in a group that large, you find smaller groups of people to hang out with.
60-80 people- that was a different story.
i felt like i needed to get to know everyone.
And i couldn’t really connect with anyone.
And all those people overwhelmed me.
Quite frankly, i would have been happy just hanging out with my roommates and maybe a few other people i knew before.
But, hey those were great people- so why not?
By the end, i started connecting with people better…
It was also difficult connecting with God.
In my apartment, i would fall asleep, or waste time online or have someone to talk to.
And since i didn’t feel connected to others that well, when i would make the decision to stay in and spend some time with the Lord, i would spend my time journaling wondering what everyone else was doing and feeling like i was missing out.
And well, quite frankly, i didn’t like the schedule… i felt busy. i felt like there was always something going on…
So even though, there was a lot of good content, i don’t feel like i was able to process it all.
i did learn i am an introvert.
And the biggest thing i learned- the thing that defines me most-
i’m a night person
more than being an introvert or a feeler or my ethnicity or being a Christian… wait, that’s not
more on this to come…