Soo & i have decided to adopt.
If you know us, you know we have not only been in the process for several months, but have long desired to adopt. The question we had was “when”.
The question we get is “Why?”
We already have 2 kids, and we are young enough to have more. And we have 2 young kids, who we cannot keep up with anyway. Are we just gluttons for punishment? Or are we just foolish?
Many may think we are crazy… including myself.
Many factors go into our decision to adopt, but primarily we want to adopt to honor God, bless others, and believe God is leading us this direction. We are still in process, and if God has different plans for us He will redirect.
Adoption is not about us. In fact, it is not even about the child. It’s about God.
But, that’s the spoiler… let me try to share a bit more…
Back in the summer there had been much in the news about planned parenthood and abortion. Such stories make me sad. I feel sad for the unborn child and for the expectant mother. I can’t imagine the turmoil a person must have when they even consider an abortion. Life is tough. I don’t want to make life on others tougher. I want to offer grace, love, and help.
As I consider these things, I don’t want to just to say things, I want to do something.
Before Soo & I got married, one thing that drew us to one another was a mutual interest in adoption. We see it as a way to help & bless others. We see people in need. We see children who don’t have a home, who could feel neglected and unloved. We want children to know they are loved.
All of us are loved by God. He does not desire any should perish. And the bible speaks often for His compassion on orphans.
More so, when I think of adoption, I think of an opportunity to imitate God and glorify God. And thus even to know and experience God more. As we act like God, we understand Him. As we imitate God, we see how He treats us. We get greater understanding.
And so more than adopting to make me feel like I am doing something, or for the sake of the child, I consider adoption as a way to honor & know God – I do it not for myself or for another, I do it for God. I don’t do it simply to make a difference, but to follow Christ.
Now as I consider that step of faith, I consider the kids I have already – and how difficult it is to parent them. They make me frustrated. I get annoyed, irriated, lose my patience, and long for free time.
And I think
“Do I want more kids?”
More, I wonder
“Am I cut out for more kids?”
But if I were only to follow God when I felt I could handle it, I wouldn’t go very far. And if I waited until I was qualified, I would be waiting forever.
And so adoption is a step of faith.
Not something I do for me to make my life fulfilling. Not something i do because i am so great at it. Not offering myself as an expert or better than others, but to stretch my faith.
And that is a good thing.
Being a parent is a big responsibility and an honorable one. God gives us a great privilege to shepherd children.
Some look at this world and see only trouble. We should not bring kids into this world. But I look and see the problems in this world and see possibility and responsibility. Someone needs to help the young in this country understand the Gospel and follow God. They need to be shepherded. And I want to build up men and women into followers of Christ.
And what an opportunity adoption allows.
So we don’t do it for ourselves. We do it not to give us a sense of self worth or identity. Nor to release ourselves from guilt or shame. We do it not to make a contribution or because we think we are qualified. We don’t do it so the child or others will appreciate us.
Adoption will require hard work, sacrifice, disappointment…
But we do it for ourselves in this:
It will grow our faith! – Requiring us to rely on God and step out of comfort zones.
It will make us more like God – as we imitate Him, and as we know Him. As we act out love, act out the Gospel.
It will draw us closer to God, as we experience Him and know Him.
And we believe, there will be much joy. Sure, i give the impression that being a parent has ruined everything, but i wouldn’t trade my kids for the world!
And i look forward to loving my child. Loving and enjoying my child.
So… Soo & I are on a journey. We began looking into adoption, researched agencies, trying to understand the procedures and process, and prepare ourselves for another child and how to prepare our kids for another child.
We have begun the process to do foster care with the hopes of adopting (which is a whole other story).
Who knows, maybe we’ll be the Indian and Korean parents with a white child.
The longer we are on this journey, the more i see God’s heart. Repeatedly He calls His people to care for the widow, the refugee, the fatherless, the orphan.
The Gospel is a story of God rescuing us, restoring us from a broken relationship, adopting us as His own children, loving us deeply. Being our Father.
We are looking into adoption because we believe God is directing us that way now. Perhaps we’ll never adopt, who knows. But we want to take a step of faith – so we may bless, shepherd & love a child. Build up God’s kingdom and instill Biblical values; And to honor God, glorify God, follow God and grow in faith.
This is why we are going to adopt… and maybe you would consider it too! There are many out there who need parents, who need godly examples.
Consider reading “Generous Justice” by Tim Keller. Or perhaps watch this talk by Beth Guckenberger, which strongly encouraged us this week.
I am sure there are things we are missing, stuff we don’t know, ways we need to grow. We appreciate your prayers and feedback along the way.